God At Work!

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Chad & Sherry Carter

Beautiful music brought us together. But somewhere along the way the music stopped and all that was left was painful silence. We had both been followers of Jesus since childhood and never imagined that we had unresolved issues buried deep within that would create a troubled marriage. Outsiders saw the appearance of a good marriage, but within the walls of our home we struggled to simply communicate. The hard knocks of life had independently beaten the stuffing out of us. Sherry had experienced sexual abuse, while I (Chad) thrived on perfectionism that sprung out of generations of alcoholism. We were headed for a relational crash. Sometimes weeks, and even months passed without hardly a word exchanged. This pattern seemed to send us both into a bottomless pit of confusion and helplessness. During one stretch, deep depression, nearly suicidal tendencies, came over Sherry on a daily/weekly basis.

Our love story began the first day of our freshman year at Lee University in Cleveland, Tennessee. Worship music was the language of the soul that brought us together. After several years of dating Sherry and I married. We traveled in a singing ministry all over the U.S. for a number of years. She won accolade after accolade in music. I continued singing but also began a successful business career that seemed to capture most of my time. I worked to prove my value. The combination of Sherry’s emotional isolation and my workaholism kept us steeped in dysfunction we didn’t know how to escape. I became a virtual absentee father to my three children as well. We both wanted to overcome the dysfunction but our private pains seemed to rise like a high wall blocking anything good between us. After 17 years of marriage, God brought The Orchard Church into our lives.

We began to share our lives transparently with our church family and asked for prayer. Our Orchard Family loved us both individually and unconditionally and was walking faithfully with us when we came to an emotionally icy impasse in September 2005. Pastor Chris, my brother, and David and Marilyn Knight, a godly couple in our church, helped craft a structured process that was developed specifically for us which included a tremendously gifted Christian Counselor, Lynn Husband. We started seeing Lynn regularly and things actually got worse until we actually agreed on one thing – a trial separation. We were to discuss the terms of the separation on Monday, December 12, 2005. However, on the Sunday before, December 11, 2005, Chris preached a message titled, “Simeon’s Song.” It marked a turning point and rekindled a new song of love in our souls. The message recalled us to our first love. I recall him saying that Simeon was a man of the Spirit who actively waited with great expectation to see the Savior. He had a confident longing that what he was waiting on was coming. Chris asked the question, “Are you starving for more of our Lord?” “Do you really want Him to speak into your life?” I began to repent for not even doing the basics within my family. I sensed that my disobedience might have kept God from moving in our lives. Later that same day, after months of not talking, Sherry and I committed to read the Word of God together as a family, pray together and absolutely commit to working things out. We renewed our covenant of marriage before God.

Over many months of healing and reconciliation, we became best friends. God’s Word and prayer began to topple the walls between us. We are still learning how to share in healthy ways. Our Orchard Family has loved us well and has prayed for us through each step of the journey. We are so glad to be a part of a church that understands that commitment to the process of wholeness is essential because in God’s economy, not much happens instantly. The same God who created us sustains us and remakes us as we surrender our lives to Him daily.

This year marks 21 years as a couple. Beautiful music has returned and God continues to restore us. As we go deeper with Him, we are confident that we will grow even closer together.

“Lord, thank You for the faithful prayers and love of our church and for the transforming work of the Holy Spirit.”

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